Don't Quit Before the Miracle
Trying to get pregnant is like running a race without knowing where the finish line is. You don't know how hard to push, how much energy to save (or money) because you don't know how much longer the run is. It's crazy. No wonder there's a decent drop out rate in TTC particularly with assisted fertility treatments (ART).
My husband and I were on this hike in the snow, to the top of a mountain where there was an abandoned gold mine and incredible view. I very much wanted to see it. But we also very much wanted to stop hiking (altitude exhaustion sweat tired wanting a hot toddy, you get it). We had no clue how much further the gold mine was, the sun was starting to set and we definitely didn't want to hike out in the dark. We gave up and as we were about to head back a cross country skier appeared and said we were only five minutes away from the top. Can you believe we almost quit with only five minutes to go?!
This is like trying to conceive - you never know when you are just five minutes or one more month away from your Gold Mine.
Tips to Trekking to Gold:
Stay on your path. Your's is unique to you and your partner. Some do dozens of IVFs while others get preg after one IUI, others are three years of trying naturally. Your journey is your own, honor what is right for you and your other.
Take turns carrying the other (energetically), when one is out of steam (which means continuing to develop a strong partnership).
Pace yourself (you first need to Hear Yourself in order to know what feels like a good pace - we have a great Body-listening meditation series for this).
And most importantly, stay rooted in your desire to find your Gold Mine. I know, intimately, how hard it is to really want something when each month you get a big fat No. When each month you get more and more pregnancy announcements From Others. Sometimes, it's easier (understandably) to just Want It Less allowing the hurt to rust over into nice case of the F**k it's. Resist, keep your Want polished and shiny. You deserve to want this and you deserve to have this. It's okay. It's jsut your unique journey.
Enjoy the riches of the journey along the hike ... the things you're cultivating; maybe patience, body wisdom, a stronger relationship, healing around the very concept of parents and potentially healing your relationship with your own. These are the vista's I want for all of us along the way.
xoxox From One Bird to Another